There I was. Cheeks flushed. Rapid pulse. Rubber-kneed. Butterflies in my stomach (that’s it – no more Vietnamese food for me). Nervously fidgeting. Inability to focus. Uncontrolled perspiration (although accompanied by a pleasant, powder-fresh scent).
So, what had put me in such a peculiar condition? Had I been peeping at Lake Highlands Women’s League members modeling the latest fashions in swimwear? Had I consumed too many cappuccinos at either one or both of the new Starbucks locations in Lake Highlands? Had I finally reached the line on my tax return where I find out just how much I owe? Had I just tasted some of Butch’s sinus-clearing side sauce at Mi Cocina? Had my doctor just said something about a prostate exam?
While certainly all good guesses, the actual explanation for all of the above symptoms (which coincidentally describe menopause) was nothing more exotic than this year’s first healthy dose of spring fever (man, I wish I hadn’t thought of that prostate exam).
No doubt about it. Springtime is upon us. March is or should be a special month for Texans, since it includes the anniversaries of Texas independence and the fall of the Alamo. But, of course, the Jay Leno-type interview of the man on the street would find most people more knowledgeable about Survivor and Temptation Island than Texas history.
Speaking of excellence in television programming, rumor has it that each one of those megahit shows is planned to come to Lake Highlands to film an episode. The Survivor production folks are reportedly eyeing Northlake Shopping Center, in search of any major retail tenant who can actually survive for the length of its lease. Possibilities include an emotional reunion of the Bingo Lady and some charter school alumni.
Ah, what memories!
Temptation Island is talking with DART about using the new DART station at the old Knights of Columbus location as a future venue for its show, where cast members who were once fiscally responsible would be allowed to run amok with other people’s money, with the objective of convincing those other people that it was all in their best interests. Cast members, of course, would be closely monitored by professionals with strait jackets.
Another program note: during the month of March, there will be a new production of “The Emperor Has No Clothes” performed at PT’s Gentlemen’s Club and Thespian Emporium, followed by a showing of the documentary, “From Birthday Suit to Lawsuit: PT’s Struggle for Self-Expression.”
Spring fever in Lake Highlands – catch it! But if you come down with it after a night at the “club,” you might want to check with your old doc, just in case.