The makers of The Thing will be quick to tell you that it’s a prequel to John Carpenter’s 1982 film (itself a remake of Howard Hawks’ 1951 science fiction classic The Thing from Another World), and not a remake or a reboot. In actuality it’s a little bit of all of those Things, a rehash that isn’t unwatchable, but isn’t at all compelling either.

Both of the earlier versions were based on John W. Cambell Jr.’s classic science fiction pulp short story “Who Goes There?”, about an Antarctic science team that thaws an alien lifeform from the ice and subsequently becomes its prey. The first film — like most ’50s sci-fi — was a Cold War allegory, the second was a horror movie with a science fiction twist; each was terrifying.

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This new take on the material, directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. and written by Eric Heisserer, is a prelude to Carpenter’s version, set in the Norwegian research station referenced in its predecessor. As with the original, the scientists inadvertently thaw out the monster, which absorbs its victims and copies their appearances. Naturally, paranoia and fear kick in as they try to sort out who to trust and who to incinerate with a flamethrower.

If that synopsis seems spare, it’s because there’s not much new here to elaborate upon. It’s a remake in all but name only, consisting of the same premise, the same setting, and many of the same plot points with just some variation thrown in. It doesn’t try to improve or expand on what came before — let’s face it, there’s no room to maneuver there — it just settles for a variation on the theme.

Heijningen and Heisserer’s biggest mistake, however, is in truncating the drama and character development in favor of a faster pace. Carpenter was savvy enough to give each of his characters (and there were about a dozen of them) some degree of personality, so that when the gore started flying there would be an emotional impact as well as a visceral one. Because most the characters in the prequel are such non-entities we lose track of who’s alive, who’s dead, and who’s a bug-eyed monster, nor do we care a whole lot.

Like its villainous beastie, The Thing has absorbed its victim and morphed into an imitation of the original. Ironically, its climax leaves open the possibilty of a sequel, an opportunity for the monster to propagate and deliver more of the same.

The Thing is showing this weekend at Studio Movie Grill, NorthPark and UA Galaxy.