“The church made me fat.” I can see the headline now.

A new study by researchers at Northwestern University has concluded that “people who went to church or church activities at least once a week were more than twice as likely as people with no religious involvement to become obese.” While the researchers did not delve into what church activities were more likely to produce bad eating habits, they pointed to the broad social networks that churchgoers foster. These lead inevitably to more planned activities that include food and drink.

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Can you say potluck supper? Fried chicken. Mashed potatoes. Casseroles of every imaginable concoction. Biscuits and gravy for the deacons’ breakfast. Hot dogs and French fries for kids. Pies and cakes. Homemade oatmeal raisin cookies (isn’t oatmeal good for you?). Never have been to a church that took its nutritional cues from the FDA pyramid or bought from a Whole Foods supplier. Oh, and lots of salt.

So, it’s not hard to figure how our figures get out of shape over time with all this comfort food. And it’s true that religious people tend to eat together when they gather. The Lord’s Supper isn’t to blame, as you only get a morsel and a sip. But Table fellowship points to table fellowship, as the meal becomes a love feast. The same is true for Jews who celebrate weekly Shabbat supper with family, and Muslims who break the Ramadan fast with the Feast of Eid. Sharing food symbolizes common life and friendship. It’s hard to hate someone you break bread or pop a cork with.

The study also acknowledges the findings of others studies that church- (read temple or mosque) goers live longer and are happier than non-goers. Old, fat and happy — that’s us.

We could do better. We could remember that vital physical food is meant to hint toward eternal spiritual food: “Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” We could practice fasting as a rhythmic remedy to over-feasting. Fasting teaches us to depend less on the bread of earth and more on the bread of heaven. We could remember that our bodies are the temple of God and keep them worthy of their true owner.

But I’d like to believe that people would do church studies someday on weightier matters than weight.

For instance, are people who attend religious services more likely to forgive than those who don’t? Are they more committed to welcoming strangers and being good neighbors? Do people who go to church lie less and tell the truth more? Do they find more meaning in their work? Are they more apt to adapt to changes in culture than those who find their identity and security in tribe or clan or club? Do religious people make better workers and deal more honestly and fairly with employees? Are they more likely to marry well and stay married?

Unfortunately, some of those studies have been done, and we don’t fare all that well in those, either. But for all our failures, where do these very ideals come from? They have arisen more from our religious traditions than from any other source. We should live up to them better, but the fact that we know we should and that others count on us to is half the hope. The other half is that we do.

So, yes, I can see the civil suit now: Overweight man sues church for causing his obesity. Don’t think that would make it to trial, although it would make the papers. But wouldn’t it be great to see someone put us on trial for inciting justice, or stopping a war, or mending a feud, or advancing the discussion between science and faith, or modeling new strategies for health care?

We see glimpses of these coming from churches, too. No headlines yet.