Well, now I’ve gone and done it. I said some smart-alecky things about the Wildcat football season in last month’s column, and I immediately received some “expressions of concern” from a few readers.

Coincidentally, both of my cars were just repossessed, and my house was just foreclosed on. I am actually sending this column in from the Lew Sterrett Hotel, which is where I have been residing since I was arrested and jailed last week for some crime I was unfamiliar with, having to do with walking my dog on the wrong side of the street or something like that. My lawyer (also a Wildcat dad) thinks it is unlikely that I’ll be home anytime soon (he’s very busy).

You see, I had this really great idea about calling attention to this poster boy for Howard Stern, who was cursing at the top of his lungs at a Wildcat football game last season. Of course, on the way to making my point, I was perhaps a little too cavalier with my comments about the Wildcat football season. I reached that conclusion shortly after re-reading my December column and spending some quality time sharing with members of the team (and serving as a human blocking dummy – man, you guys can really hit!).

Having written newspaper and magazine opinion columns since high school, it should come as no surprise that I have frequently, shall we say, irritated one or two folks; sometimes on purpose, sometimes not. On this occasion, however, I hurt the feelings of some people unintentionally – the Wildcat players and their families. For that, I apologize.

Of course, now I’ll hear from those of you who are offended that I apologized for something I did not intend to do. And then there will be those who are offended that I have yet to say anything that offends them. It’s enough to make a columnist want to limit his subject matter to creative gardening and favorite holiday recipes.

Or especially successful Lake Highlands fundraisers – such as the annual home tour, bazaar, luncheon, and dinner sponsored by the Lake Highlands Women’s League (which should really be called the Lake Highlands Babes League).

The ladies luncheon was attended by more than 600 folks. HOBs (husbands of Babes), including me (I was out on parole), served as the attentive wait staff. I successfully waited on dozens of finely appointed ladies without dumping food, spilling coffee or making one comment about the football team.

The dinner and party for the Babes and HOBs at the Sokol Center that night consisted of my favorite health food from On the Border and excellent tunes provided by the Merriman Park Pops band.

The money raised by the event goes to college scholarships for Lake Highlands seniors. This year, the Babes set yet another record, collecting over $66,000.

(Whew! I think I made it through this column without any accidental hits. I wonder if the basketball team is supposed to be good this year… .)