While the doomsdayers decked out in their camo-tuxedoes awaited the end of the world on New Year’s Eve, a fascinating story out of Lake Highlands was overlooked by most of the major media outlets. In fact, the only coverage I saw was in The Eager Beaver (a little newsletter that PT’s Gentlemen’s Club sends to its patrons).

It seems that archaeologists from DART uncovered a time capsule that dates back to 999 AD beneath one of PT’s many private reading rooms. DART’s chief archaeologist Digger Biggers stated: “It was just a lucky break that we found this thing. I’m not even sure why my men were in that area. Probably some unusual formation caught their eye.”

The time capsule was found intact. It contained the birth announcement of Stanley Marcus, a peach cobbler recipe belonging to the Cocopoa Indians (long believed to one of the best-fed tribes in the White Rock Nation), and the following poem authored by someone whose ability to see into the future rivals Nostradamus and even Alan Greenspan. I dare you to read these verses and not marvel at the detail – how could he have known the Beverly Hillbillies theme song?

Millennial Mutterings in the Metroplex”

(Sung to the tune of the “Billies of Beverly Hills”)

by William Kefspeare, the “Bard of Lake Highlands”

Come and listen to a story

About our own Big D,

A little bitty town

Slightly east of H.E.B.

When the boom went bust

There were condominiums

Enough to last us

Through the next millennium…

Debt, that is;

Upside-down

Notes abound.

Well, the Stars and the Mavs

Walked the note on their chateau.

So our taxes paid

For a new Chalet Perot.

Y’see the Boys were having trouble,

Couldn’t get it in the Zone;

And the next thing you know

We are stuck with Jerry Jones…

Tex and Tom,

Dandy Don,

Roger, Drew,

Where are you?

Well, it took some 50 years

To make Central wide enough.

But some people who like trains

Dipped backed in the public trough.

Two billion dollars later

Debt will soon be off the chart

For an obsolete attraction –

Welcome to the age of DART.

Subsidize?

Not too wise.

Trains are grand –

In Disneyland.

The School and the Council

Like to mix it up a lot.

So many folks are leaving

That it’s apparent they forgot.

The only way to guarantee

Our city will be great

Is if every one of us

Remembers to participate.