Horrors! I made only a few light-hearted jokes in past columns about our favorite neighborhood strip joint, and now it looks like it might not have its license to “bare arms” (and everything else) renewed.

PT’s, a “gentlemen’s club,” is conveniently located for Lake Highlanders at Northwest Highway and Lawther between a retirement community and White Rock Lake Park.

Is America great or what?

It seems that, technically, PT’s has always violated the City ordinance regarding sexually-oriented businesses because of its location, but it has continued to operate under a series of exemptions that have been granted every year.

It is comforting to know that our local leaders on the License Appeal Board were standing by to relieve PT’s of the unfair burdens of such a draconian law. After all, if there were no PT’s, where would Gramps and the gang go for “boys’ night out?”

What would the incentive be to jog or bike or walk really fast down White Rock Trail, were it not for the anticipated enjoyment of fine, professional, naked dancing?

Last year, the License Appeal Board renewed PT’s exemption, despite efforts by the City Attorney and the police department to have the exemption denied because of “only” 39 arrests reported in the preceding 12-month period. What a bunch of party-poopers!

What about the Constitution? What about the First Amendment? I can see it now – Washington and Jefferson discussing with pride their victory over England to secure the right for every American to enjoy dancing on tables by professional naked women in his own neighborhood.

Can there by a nobler cause?

“You know, Tommy,” George would say, “Martha thinks it’s good for me to get out and have some fun with the boys – have you seen Betsy Ross do that flag dance?”

PT’s has to renew its exemption to operate as a “gentlemen’s club” by Aug. 13, or Miss Cherry Sundae will have to put on some clothes.

Lake Highlands has a chance to express its opinion about having this kind of business in the middle of our community. There will be a hearing at City Hall in August (the date has yet to be determined) at which PT’s will argue to the License Appeal Board yet one more time about why it should receive another exemption from the City ordinance.

Will any Lake Highlanders show up to testify against PT’s? Will the exemption be renewed or denied? Will anyone dance on the tables at the hearing? Will the professional, naked dancing ladies finally have to acquire a wardrobe? Will the senior citizens next door have to settle for fully-clothed bingo night? These and other pressing questions await those Lake Highlanders brave and interested enough to express an opinion at PT’s hearing in August.

Of course, we can always just go on like before and live and let live. Perhaps the Exchange Club could start having monthly lunches at PT’s. Alan Walne might consider it as a location for a future fund-raiser – those supporters whose contributions know no ceiling could be members of the “Topless Club.”

As for me, I think PT’s fits in our neighborhood about as well as a crack house or an hourly motel. What do you think?

A date has yet to be set for a hearing. For information, call 214-670-3738.