Yes, it’s that special time when we marvel at how much weight we have gained since Thanksgiving and reflect on all of the events and consider all of the people who have been in the news during the past year.
Our panel of one esteemed judge, me, has reviewed all of the entries. While there are many people and events that are worthy of consideration, only a select few ultimately qualify for the coveted “KEF Award.” (WARNING: Remember, dear reader, that these awards are bestowed in the name of good, clean fun. Undoubtedly, someone will be offended and scold my lack of sensitivity. In response, I can only suggest that such a display might prompt me to start my 1996 list early.)
Without further ado and disclaimer, you may start your own drum roll as we announce this year’s award recipients.
- Least Effective Protest While Impersonating a Traffic Hazard:
Dallas County Commissioner John Wiley Price
- Most Misunderstood Vote:
The bond issue to dredge White Rock Lake, which we are now told will likely begin when Bill Clinton receives an honorary degree from West Point.
- Most Unlikely Combination of Events:
RISD Superintendent Vernon Johnson fires popular Lake Highlands High School football coach Mike Zoffuto; six months later, Johnson quits.
- Most Lopsided Election:
RISD school board candidates Jim Herblin, Ron Hinds and Brooks Purnell – running as a conservative, Republican slate – were smashed by Ron Hughes and Ann Barab! The only surviving conservative member, Larry Toon, resigned and moved to the Park Cities.
- Most Insane Use of Our Money:
For the 13th year in a row, the indisputable champion remains DART! More than $2 billion later and with ridership continuing to decline, the suburbs will have to lead us back to sanity through their withdrawal elections in 1996.
- Most Impressive Achievement:
Lake Highlands Wildcat Football Team’s incredible season.
- Most Likely To Be Master of Ceremonies at the KEF Awards Banquet:
Bill Blaydes. He is always welcome on my stage.
This little review reminds us what an interesting year it has been. As 1995 ends and 1996 begins, let us make a solemn pledge to one another to try to write the correct year on all of our checks. It’s the least we can do for Lake Highlands and for America.
Happy New Year!