It’s a good time for February this year.
I need to think about some things February reminds me of: relationships and family.
After Christmas, Tyler Pryor, a third grader at Merriman Park Elementary, took me to see “Mrs. Doubtfire.”
In the movie, after losing a custody battle, actor Robin Williams masquerades as a nanny named Mrs. Doubtfire in order to see his children, and then lands a job hosting a TV program.
In a moving scene, Mrs. Doubtfire responds to a troubled child in TV-land who asks: “How do I know that my daddy who lives far away loves me?”
There are all kinds of families, explains Mrs. Doubtfire. Some have only one parent living at home, some have both. Some children live with foster parents, some with grandparents.
What makes a family, she (he?) says, is love.
Yes, healthy families require love, plus personal commitment, communication, prayer, growth, mutual respect and acceptance.
As a 33-year old single adult, these essentials require new skills as I relate to my grown siblings and aging parents. I must learn how to hold them close and fly away at the same time.
Growing edges include my ability to: embrace new traditions while honoring the old, affirm their good qualities and forgive the rest, and appreciate the debt I owe to my parents without being an indentured servant.
As I grow as an adult, I relate to family in new ways. I also discover deeper meanings of friendship.
My best friend and I speak often of the contentment that settles into relationships as adults grow older. As we age, adults gather more history with people and experience the hurt and disappointment that accompanies all relationships.
Many folks choose to avoid the pain and simply give up taking initiative. I believe that when this contentment takes hold, part of us dies.
Remember the times you felt like a homesick crane winging your way towards nowhere, and one connection with an intimate friend helped you soar again? Sustaining friendship takes considerable energy and self-giving, but the rewards are worth the effort.
In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus is asked who his family is. With hand outstretched towards his friends, he says: “Whoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, he is my brother, sister, and mother.”
When friends are loved as family, the truth of Christ’s words become known to us.
Reflect a few moments this month on your own relationships. Write down two goals for personal growth. Mine include deepening the bond with at least one family member, and starting one new friendship.
Both require risks, but both hold the promise of eternal rewards.
It’s a good time for February this year.
