Dallas Judgmental Map by A. Nudle Watson

Dallas Judgmental Map by A. Nudle Watson via judgmentalmaps.com

Creator of Judgmental Maps “really likes” the Dallas Judgmental Map.

If you are habitually offended, well, you’ve probably already said your piece about Judgmental Maps when the Dallas map was making its way around the web last week, and there is no need to get yourself all worked up again — just go. We’ll wait.

Still here? OK, let’s have some fun. So, last week, the Dallas version of Judgmental Maps was released.

For the uninitiated, these maps, curated by Austin comedian Trent Gillaspie, replace neighborhood names with funny, frequently offensive, sometimes-accurate and sometimes-not descriptions.

For example, South Dallas is renamed “South Driveby” with subdivisions such as “Loose Pit Bulls” and “Chicken-owning Hipsters” featuring the site of the Dallas Zoo renamed “Weird Giraffe Thingy.” Get it?

The CityLab blog spoke to Judgmental Maps founder about the project. Gillaspie himself only created the Denver map (he is from Denver). He solicited comedian friends to make others, and he also opened it up to submissions. A. Nudle Watson is credited with the Dallas Map. Gillaspie says that aside from his Denver map and possibly San Francisco, Dallas is his favorite, because of its clean design and great attention to detail.

So how does A. Nudle Watson, if that is in fact a real name, see our Lake Highlands area? Well, basically we are “Churchland” with “Religious Wingnuts” featured centrally. White Rock Lake is “Lake NIMBY,” with nearby “Bars for Drunk Uncles.” Just south of LBJ is a cluster of “Metallica Fans” of which I was completely unaware. It’s better, I suppose, than “Nickleback Fans” of Richardson.

Surprisingly, Gillispie tells CityLab, most of the feedback is positive. He says the key is to offend everyone.

“You can’t be selective in your mockery; when you start exempting some things and lambasting others, that’s when it turns into intolerance and bigotry.”

See, so if we want to laugh at “North Douche” and “McMansionville” we have to be willing to chuckle at our own “Malfunction Junction.”